Sunday, December 27, 2015

Reality of working from home

I have a serious love\hate relationship with my new job.

I love writing. I live it. All the stories that live in my head can come up and I can share them with other people. I love working from home. It gives me a flexible schedule that allows for me to be available when problems come up. I moved back east to be closer to my parents who needed help so that is very important to me.

But at the same time those things also bug me a little. I am a workaholic. I am very driven and goal oriented. I hate having to stop work to deal with other things, and that happens a lot when you work from home. It happens even more often when you don't have a dedicated work office. Family and friends don't seem to understand that I work at least eight hours a day, usually longer. So they think I am available to do things all the time.

They don't get that for every hour I spend doing something for, or with, them I will be working into the night to make it up.
I love my job. I love my family. I hate having to choose between my father's health and my work success. Inevitably I choose less sleep. But that also means less quality time with my husband.

Then people ask, "Why are you tired? You don't work "

Sunday, December 20, 2015

Adventures in candy

No, not that Candy. Real candy. The sweet gooey, crunchy, creamy holiday candy tyat holidays are made for. Every year around this time I invite friends and family over and we make candy together. This year was a doozy. My best friend fell and couldn't make it, her daughter was sick and also couldn't make it. That left me and the three kids, my niece and nephews. And we made a glorious, delicious, sticky mess. The dog was very appreciative of all the stuff on the floor but pouted when I wouldn't let her eat the chocolate fudge that was spilled.
Together we made Grandma's sugar cookies, a family tradition. Then we decorated those a bit with buttercream frosting. The chocolate fudge lost too much in the spill and I don't think it will ever set up properly. I told the kids to eat it was a spoon when they got home. Chocolate covered cherries that were immediately demolished. Peppermint bark that my niece had a wonderful time breaking apart. I sent the kids home with tins full of the goodies they had made. My niece decided to add a little something to her tin cover after hearing something on the news. I swear I did not prompt her to do it either.

After that I needed a shower to get all the sugar off of me before heading out with friends to see a Christmas light show that was a lot more fun then I had thought it would be. We even got to see a camel!That was unexpected. We got home late but I still had some holiday baking to get done. I made seven loaves of banana bread for my friends. I had already made pumpkin bread and handed that out. Now the loaves are done and wrapped to be passed out tomorrow along with the candy and cookies that were left over from today.

This is the real reason I love this time of year. 

Saturday, December 19, 2015

Not easy

Ok this is hard for me. I have always played my online life fairly low key. I never use my real name. I rarely even use my real birthday. I never hand out personal information. I don't state my gender on message boards or forums if I can help it. I don't even allow friends to tag me in posts with locations.

A lot of it has to do with my on again\off again stalker ex. A lot of it has to do with sexual harassment online that I would rather not deal with, like most women. But I think it is time for me to come out of my shell, my warm, comforting, protective, gender neutral shell.

This is either going to be massively cathartic or a terrible mistake. There's a chance it will be both. But I am going to take that chance. I am going to start posting real things about the real me.
I am a terrible photographer so don't expect a lot of pics, especially don't expect good ones. The few I have shared my best friend took for me.

So expect a big change to this blog. It will no longer just be about my work and writing. It will be me bragging about my husband (he got a promotion I am so proud of him!) and about my best friend Khrys who is an amazing woman. And about my cooking adventures and random crazy days with my niece and nephews. I hope I don't regret this, but only time will tell for sure.

Friday, December 18, 2015

Juicy Bits

Just in time for the holidays I put out a collection of some of the juicy bits from eleven of my books. These aren't all the fun parts from each book just enough to keep you warm, and busy, over the holidays. My friends tell me to warn people "read with a partner or make sure you at least have enough batteries on hand". I hope you enjoy yourself with this collection of stories.

Barnes and Noble

Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Dangerous Angle

After nearly a year in the making my full sized novel, Dangerous Angle, is out.  It's a mystery romance inspired by my friend's rocky relationship with women over the years. He's one of the best people I have ever met in my life and I hope he finds his happily every after one day.

Barnes and Noble

Tabitha thought she was ready for anything: she prided herself on being a prepared and organized journalist. But when a story she was working on led her to show up unannounced at Connor’s house she wasn’t ready for the mess she walked into. She thought she had an angle for his story, but Connor was nothing like she expected. He wasn’t a shut-in kid; he was an angry, paranoid, and suspicious man. Yet he was funny, kind and trusted her with his secrets. Interviewing him made her want to get to know him better -- off the record. For the first time in her life lines were blurring; the passion she felt for him broke her main rule. Never mix business and pleasure: it will only get you hurt. 

Raising his little sister after the death of their parents had taught Connor to be careful. An unknown stalker that had followed them ever since had taught him to be suspicious. When Tabitha showed up at his home, he didn’t know what to think of her. She seemed helpful, honest, but not completely open. He knew she was hiding something but he couldn’t figure out her angle. When she was around he was too distracted to think straight, and that wasn’t good for him or his sister. He wasn’t ready to trust her enough to make her a part of their lives, no matter how sweetly she responded to his touches. 

When violence followed Tabitha to Connor’s house, the angle became clear to both of them. 

It’s not paranoia if someone really is out to get you "

Saturday, May 30, 2015

Do Over

"I very much enjoyed this story. Once again the author has an original plot and storyline. I enjoyed the characters and their serendipitous ending. Love the steamy scenes as well. So wish my sex life was this good. Look forward to more from Rebekah Jonesy"

Joan Pearson is a workaholic who is back in her hometown for the first time in years. She loves her job. It gives her the chance to travel to exciting new places and always challenges her. It has also left her feeling frustrated and alone because she had to leave behind the people she cares about. 
Brad Mikelson, her college crush, could have been one of those people. But they never got a chance to explore what they had between them. Now he's hotter than ever, single and willing to give it a second chance. 
But it seems like the bad luck that plagued their budding relationship before hasn't faded. Kismet might prove just as cruel now as it did then. She will have to work against it to have a chance at a successful do over.

Barnes and Noble

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

Why women leave men they love – What every man needs to know

I think this is something a lot of couples need to read. If you spend the majority of your time mentally checked out from your relationship, don't be surprised when your SO decides to check out completely.

Why women leave men they love – What every man needs to know

Be sure to check out Part 2 and 3 as well.

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

50 shades is not bdsm romance, it's rape porn

One of my first reviews compared my book to 50 Shades of Grey. I was impressed at the time because it was such a well selling book. I figured that if it was so popular it had to be a good book. Unfortunately I didn't have the time to sit down then and read it. With all the hype from the movie and the various blog posts about it, a lot of them being negative, I decided it was time to sit down and actually read it for myself before making a judgement call.

Now I really wish I hadn't. I just finished reading it and I want to go take a hot shower because I feel so unclean. Deliverance wasn't this unsettling, but then that movie about rape and torture wasn't touted as a love story either. And it had a happy ending with the bad guys getting what they deserved. There is no happy ending with 50 Shades.

Normally I am a fast reader. I read about a page a minute. But this book, a little over 500 pages, has taken me weeks to finish. It's stilted and not very descriptive. The first half of the book has confusing wording and I had to reread some lines multiple times to figure it out. The pace isn't constant and jumps around, leading to even more confusion. It's just not good writing. The main characters are introduced and they have no redeeming qualities. They are rude, thoughtless, immature, and selfish.

He is abrupt, shallow and condescending. Grey wants a Master/slave relationship but he never explains that fully. What he does explain shows that the author has no understanding of BDSM in any of it's forms. He thinks his constant brain washing and rape techniques will shape her into the emotionless object he wants to enjoy fucking and beating.

She is stupid, spineless, and bizarrely insulated. Steele wants a high school romance but never really asks for it. She seems to think the magic of her vagina and inner goddess will win him over "into the light" and out of his darkness. And then

They both try to settle for a relationship where neither one of them gets even close to what they want. What. The. Hell?

Just that is enough to make me want to never read the next book. But the ick factor doesn't stop there. Grey is also a victim of abuse/neglect (from his biological mother) and sexual assault from the friend of his adoptive mother. He has serious Stockholm syndrome and still cares for the woman that raped, beat, and enslaved him when he was a teenager. He sees nothing wrong with it and is thankful to the woman. She allowed him to love in a way he was comfortable with, he says.

Steele is told repeatedly that Grey is no good for her. She even tells herself that he is no good for her. She acknowledges that his actions (the stalking, coercive sex, fucking her into submission, the over the top gifts, the physical pain and emotional manipulation) are all bad. But he makes her inner goddess happy. In other words he gave her orgasms. So she keeps agreeing to see him. She tries to make him happy, so he won't be so abusive. But she can't. So he stalks her, threatens her, rapes her, embarrasses her, and keeps her confused. All while constantly demeaning her and telling her it is for her own good and explaining how she hurts him when she doesn't go along with what he wants. So in order to not hurt him, because he has been hurt so much in his dark past, she agrees to things she does not like and does not want to do.

That is not a bdsm relationship. Uninformed consent is not consent. Steele does not know what she is getting into, what is going to happen to her, or what is expected of her. Grey doesn't care, at least not enough to slow down and introduce these things to her slowly so she can understand them. He tells her to accept it and be willing to enjoy it. Because that is the only way he knows how to get off, and he really wants to get off with her. His erection demands it and he does not like to be denied. But then she does deny him. She closes her legs so he can't play with her pussy while at the dinner table with his family. So he takes her outside, jerks her around, yells at her, throws her over his shoulder and carries her to the boathouse. Then he fucks her and threatens her with punishment if she orgasms. She doesn't know what she has done to merit the abuse, he doesn't bother to explain. He even tells her that it was hot the way she defied him. But he still punishes her for it.

And that is the sum of their "relationship". He decides when she has broken a rule that she doesn't understand and then punishes her in ways she does not like. Any time she tries to end things or slow them down, he coerces her into trying again. And again. And again. That is the definition of an abusive relationship.

A bdsm relationship is about trust and respect. Trust is built on communication and time. The dom has to trust that sub knows what they want and how much they can take. The sub has to trust the dom to abide by the agreement and not to go farther than agreed but to still go as far as they want. Being a dom entails a ton of responsibility, especially when the sub is new to it. You must have good communication in order to establish those bounds. And both parties have to understand what they are talking about and what everything entails. Those things take weeks and many long talks and probably a few demonstrations. A single strike so they know what it feels like. A slow build up, with comforting words and open talks. Making sure your sub is in the right head space to enjoy what is happening. And constantly making certain, every step of the way, that the sub understands what is happening and what is expected.

Grey can not communicate, or is completely unwilling to. Steele does not understand any of it and is apparently too stupid to do more than read a wiki article about it. (Which still puts her one step up from the author, who it seems didn't even bother doing that much research.) So they both go in, flogs swinging, and they both get hurt. And it's being called an erotic bdsm romance, except it's not bdsm or a romance. It's rape porn with a fantastic PR campaign.